Bad Drivers

I had a hard time naming those post. Mostly because I hate to make generalizations about a whole group of people. For example, I toyed around with Southern Drivers — but half the population of Charlotte is imported from the North and therefore I think it’s unfair to assume they aren’t partly to blame. Can you really even call Charlotteans Southern? The real, native ones I suppose, but the majority of Charlotteans are second generation New Yorkers, Ohioans (?) and Floridians with a smattering of Texans. I waffle on the classification of Florida as true Southern — being surrounded by all that water dilutes the tendency towards Nascar and sweet tea. Not to mention they have more of a Northern population than we do. Me — I’m half Buckeye and half North Carolinian. I think that gives me the room to freely add my commentary on those who share my state. And now to the point of this rambling…

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD LEARN TO MERGE.

The purpose of a merge lane is not for you to slam on your brakes as soon as you enter it. Trust me — that 300+ feet of lane really is enough for you to start accelerating and scoping out an opening to slide yourself right into moving traffic. Now, try it with me —

  1. Enter merge lane at reasonable speed of 25-35 mph 
  2. Maintain your speed and slightly accelerate up to the highway limit of 65 mph
  3. Have faith in your fellow drivers creating a space for you
  4. Find that space
  5. Merge!

You know what happens when you don’t merge? You know what happens when you enter the merge lane, put on  your blinker, stop your vehicle and wait for a spot to open? YOU CAUSE A 15 MINUTE DELAY ON AN OTHERWISE WIDE-OPEN INTERSTATE. A line of cars forms behind you. That line grows longer and longer, until the turning lane of the road which feeds into  the on-ramp is also frozen and unable to move. A line of cars also forms in the lane to your left. Half of the drivers may take pity on you and slow their cars down to 35 mph so you can slowly ease your way in. They subsequently slow down the rest of traffic. Those people are just as incompetent as you are — so don’t worry, you aren’t alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a terrible driver, but more in the hitting-stationary-objects-while-trying-to-park kind of way. If there is one thing I know how to do, it’s merge. I’ll be happy to show you how, and I’ll even do it for free. Call it a public service.

I have faith in you. You can do it!

I have faith in you. You can do it!

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