So my Email crashed today…

…which means I have to find unique ways to entertain myself at work. You know what really bothers me? My computer doesn’t have solitaire, or mine sweeper, or mahjong, or any of those awesome little diversions which only need about .076% of your attention span to enjoy.

What happened to solitaire? Does my company really believe allowing me access to solitaire will stifle my productivity? Have they heard of the Internet? I’m pretty sure  my online shopping addiction is far more detrimental to my work performance than mindlessly dragging virtual playing cards from one column to another. Not to mention the impact on my bank account. Maybe I can make an argument for why I should be reimbursed for all the unnecessary purchases I’ve made over the last year because I was denied the simple distraction of watching my screen explode in a display of fireworks and bouncing spades with each solitaire victory.

Yes, I know I can find solitaire online, but it isn’t the same. All the Web-based versions take you to a highly suspicious gaming site where advertisements for Russian brides and herbal enhancements flash suggestively in the margins. And on top of that, they don’t let you choose an awesome pattern for your deck. I want customization people — it’s part of the experience.

I’m grossly exaggerating the seriousness of this situation, but that’s what happens when technology fails and your denied solitaire. There is a direct correlation to increases in whining.

Alright, no Russian brides, BUT the red text is suspicious and the graphics are wanting.

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