Top 10 Ways to Die in Mexico

Mexico gets a bad rep for drug crime and police corruption, but I tell you my friends, there are far more dangerous activities in Mexico then buying blow on a street corner. I give you the Top 10 Ways to Die in Mexico (Puebla version)

This list is a culmination of an entire weekend’s efforts of brainstorming with my Poblano peeps.

1. Mexican Frogger: this entails crossing busy streets in a non-pedestrian-friendly city. Points awarded for style and avoiding crosswalks.

2. Car crash: Mexican drivers are crazy, no scratch that, insane, nope completely loco

3. Stray bullet from a Mexican gun fight: there is actually a bullet hole in the window of my office building. This is not a lie, and actually freaks me out quite a bit. Strange thing is only the cops are walking around with automatic weapons… I’ve been reassured that we are in a perfectly safe neighborhood, and to my knowledge no one has actually been shot recently. Good news, we have bullet-proof glass. It could also have been a very forceful rock.

4. Electrocution: there is a popular bar game in which you join hands and allow an electric current to run through the group. Can’t recall the Mexican name right now — but this guy amps up the voltage until you can’t feel your arms. I can imagine that if you happened to be standing in a puddle of Mexican beer, this would be fatal.

5. Montezuma’s revenge: self-explanatory. Also known as “street food.”

6. Overdose on tequila while Mexicoing: to “Mexico” is actually a verb which describes a Gringa’s attempt to party like a Mexican. This is a dangerous sport. You can also substitute mescal for tequila. Personal preference. See Image A.

7. Eaten alive by Ninja Mosquitoes: this could happen. True story.

8. Earthquake & Hot lava: Puebla is home to an active volcano which keeps shutting down our airport. I’m thinking I’ll see Pompeii part dos.

9. Mexican fire drill: (Like a Chinese one, but in Mexico where the drivers are batshit crazy)

10. Gored by a bull: apparently there are bull fights in Mexico, and it is possible to be stampeded or gored. I will not be spectating this event. I’ll stick with beer showers in the futbol stadium.


Image A: An example of Mexicoing.

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