Today marks the official countdown to my quarter life crisis. 31 days from now I’ll officially be out of the sweet bliss of my early twenties and trudging along into the murky valley which is the “mid’ twenties. Guess I have to start growing up now…
Spending the last few months of my twenty fourth year in Mexico was probably the best decision I’ve ever made. No better way to get to know yourself real quick then to spend an extended period of time in a foreign country — away from all the comforts that make you seem relatively normal.
It has never been clearer to me what I really want. I really want to have no clue where I’m heading or where I’m going to end up. I wish to avoid more than anything a rut — settling into a mundane routine where each day passes unrecognizable from the last. I want every dawn to carry a new experience. I want to savor new flavors, entertain brief sparks, and just enjoy my life as it comes.
I was once told I was a mystery wrapped in an enigma — which is an awful cliche and apparently the speaker was so unremarkable I can’t remember them any more either — but, in a way it is a little true.
I am the perfect embodiment of my astological sign. Gemini. Dual personalities. The twins. On one hand steady, loyal, level-headed, and wise. On the other? Passionate, fickle, thrill-seeking, and relentless. It is a challenge to feel constantly pulled towards opposite ends of the spectrum, and may ultimately mean it is impossibe for me to find someone who can handle both of me — but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My highs are incredibly high, and my lows often tragically so — but to live each day feeling, really feeling every emotion fully — that is a gift.
So as I move into my mid twenties I’ll work to temper my passion just a tad — enough to blend in with the rest of the grown ups. But for the next two months — I’ll keep embracing my more interesting half. When in Mexico…